From Rock Bottom to Radiant Truth:

A Journey of Liberation, Devotion, and Divine Remembrance

You wouldn’t know it just by looking at me.
You wouldn’t hear it in the warm steadiness of my voice.

But a decade ago, I was drowning—trapped in addiction, shame, and the intense Self-hatred perpetuated by the over-arching feelings of “I don’t want to be here, I don’t belong here, there is something wrong with me.” Some of my earliest memories are of contemplation on death, wishing for it, praying for it- and the life I unconsciously created perfectly reflected the desire to escape life.

Rehabs. Jail cells. Institutions.
A thousand places I ran, trying to escape the pain I carried. The hell of my external world was far better than the dark hell of my inner-world.

And then, in September 2014—after one final arrest—I reached the end.
I chose to end my life that night. Fueled by the belief that I could no longer live with the drugs, but I certainly could not and did not want to live without them. That left me with only one option. Death- the loud whisper that had been calling my name since childhood.

Through my attempt at death, I was reborn into life and met by Grace.

In what I now understand as a near-death experience, I was enveloped by a presence so profound, so compassionate, it shattered everything I thought I knew about God.
It wasn’t a punishing father I met in the dark—it was the Divine Mother, fierce in Her love, holding me in my brokenness. She whispered truths no one had ever spoken:

You are not broken.
You are not alone.
Your pain is holy.
And your life has purpose.

That night, something ancient reawakened in me.
I describe it like this:

I had been drowning in a sea of suffering for so long…
And then someone threw me a life raft.
I climbed in.
But the journey to shore—
the journey home—
had only just begun.

🕊 A Decade of Devotion

The ten years that followed weren’t about "fixing" myself.
They were about reclaiming myself—body, voice, womb, soul. I exited mainstream, conventional “healing” and institutions and devoted myself to carving out my own path of healing. Mind, Body, Soul…all the way to the very root of my humanity. I did not just want to heal addiction, I wanted to liberate myself at the core of my Soul.

I devoted myself to healing at the deepest levels:

• Through shadow work, somatic recalibration, and trauma alchemy

• Through prayer, meditation, and plant medicine

• Through Spiritual Technologies like Yoga, Ayurveda, Kabbalah, Tantra, and the Gene Keys.

• Through fierce initiations that required my to die once again to everything I thought I knew

And the Mother who met me in the dark… She stayed with me.
She walked with me all the way to the Father.
Not the distant, dogmatic God I once resented—
but the living, loving Divine Masculine presence that brings structure, sovereignty, peace, and eternal life.

What I know now is this:
We are meant to return to the God within.
To remember both the Mother and the Father.
To reclaim the radiant wholeness we were born with.